WATCH: My 5 fav self-care activities

Heeeeey ya’ll!

Hope you’s doing great in these not so fun times. 
Today I come bearing a listicle, I think love them tbh. It’s going to be about my top 5 self-care activities. I don’t think it comes as a surprise that one should practice self-care, paying attention to yourself should not be a compromise and some are activities that don’t cost a dime or make you sweat. 

So here goes:

5. Masking 

Oh no! This has nothing to do with masks that you now put on a daily when going out. Here I am referring to facial masks. If you read HERE then you will know my go to mask which is not only readily available but efficient as well is mealie meal. Impuphu guys! It does the things for my skin in terms of exfoliating.

I will repeat this. I would rather have marks and spots on my face than a rough face with all those white thingy stuff. Anever! Besides mealie meal, my other go to products are from Avon. These then compliment my sister’s mealie meal. 

Products I’m currently using on my face

I prefer to mask just before my bath or at night before I wash my face for bed. I mask once or twice a week. 

A stupid video l sent someone’s son late November last year on some ‘mask and wine’ varrbz

I am better off blogging than vlogging: what nonsense is that 👆🏽

4. Eating 

Of course! Nothing like a spud and yummy dairibord yoghurt dip to do the trick (very cheap and always available from my local shops). Not forgetting popticorn. 

Sometimes you just want to eat good food, not your usual sadza and veg mix or maguru. Wash down with a glass of some dry red and have an early night. Simple.  Best believe that will be the best sleep and the next day will definitely be a good day. 

The only downside to this is cooking. Its not everyday that I am in a cooking mood. 

3. Yoni steaming 

Yall know what the yoni is, right?! Take care of the yoni and you will live a happy life. A whole blog on this will come, one day, not today. 

But basically, its steaming down there and it leaves you (me) feeling fab and the yoni definitely smiling. More to details to follow. Or maybe not. I am new to this but I am not looking back…not anytime soon. 

I do this once a month, specifically after bloody Mary’s visit or just before. 

Don’t try this at home ladies, or maybe do…ITS UP TO YOU hunnie. 

2. Working out

This is a new one as well, a huge thank you to the rona that has seen us spending lots of time at home trying out new things. 

It genuinely started as a challenge and something to pass time with, keeping busy kind of thing. Then I got to enjoy it. 

That thing about exercising and it relieving stress nton nton…its true. I believe it. There’s something about exercising that takes the tension away and if done in the morning, you are guaranteed of a feel-good day. 

It is however, important to note that I have only been motivated this far because I don’t work out to kill myself. Ngilivila thank you and just ten minutes of jumping around and screaming and groaning and doing everything wrong is just what I need. So do not expect any results. Again, thank you. 

Though I might need to again add that someone’s son says he is seeing the difference…I don’t know if I believe that but it is definitely the motivation I need. Don’t stop dude. 

1. Sleeping 

I love sleeping, that is no secret. But sometimes I sleep because I really have to because not doing so may lead to a breakdown. Really. 

I just want to get away from it all. Be it from many work-related things that all need my attention almost at the same time or people… 

Its more like a temporary fix from my problems. But best believe when I wake up, I will kick ass – well, there’s no choice but I’ll still get shit done. 

*Bonus* – just for control: a long hot shower counts! With a shower gel of course especially after a long day or on Sundays where you have time to pay extra attention to all corners of your body.
Currently I’m using Nez’ bubbles – Wild Rose (check it out) , shout out to Nez! It’s almost finished though so it’s a perfect chance to try out other scents.

So, these are my top five, but there is more. What are your favourite or top self-care activities that you do?

Comment below…

I’m out!  

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Appreciation blog |First post of the year

Hey b*****s!

Source: http://www.dreamstine.com

I’m joking, hi loves. Hope you is well, hope you’s okay aaaaand HAPPY NEW YEAR, may we all kick ass this year.

2020 wasn’t the greatest of years generally, I don’t know what 2021 brings but by the look of things it’s just as fucked. Things are just uncertain at the moment. But the fact still remains, we are here and we should do the most, as much as we can. A new year is the perfect chance to start afresh…clean slate, that kind of a thing.

Okay, so here’s the thing I don’t know what I was planning on saying in this post. What I do know is I was also going to say a huge, I mean HUGE thank you for last year. Y’all were amazing. I got back on the blogging horse last year in March just when lockdown kick started. It was a gloomy year but you made it amazing. In as much as I blog for fun, your views, comments and feedback are the cherry on top. So, don’t stop. THANK YOU.

Here is the thing with blogging, most times I am even unsure about my posts. It’s sometimes even hard to start and finish a post. When I schedule or publish some posts, I get a little bit nervous, bite my lower lip and cross my fingers…no really, that’s exactly how it happens most times. So, the comments and the love (allow me to use the word, I believe we at stage now lol) really make the whole experience come full circle.

So, I may write simply because I want to and I enjoy it. But, knowing and seeing that the conversation is not one way, means a lot more than you can ever imagine. Its so corroborative to hear other people’s thoughts even though its my personal shit I write about. Thank you again.

Seeing as I have come this far in the post and I still honestly don’t know what to say, let’s make this post a ‘thank you’ post. A whole dedication to YOU. The real MVP! To my regular degulars on here, you rock! If you’re an on and off…this is genuinely the place to be. If you’re seeing this site for the first time… hit the follow button and feel at home honey.

I could go on and on and on and on, so I will stop here. Looking forward to a healthy relationship with you this year. Happy new year to you and yours!!!

NB:- PLEASE TELL A FRIEND TO TELL A FRIEND ABOUT THIS SITE. I want to see something.

Forever young: a birthday blog

A 26 year old babe

Hi, 

Today is my birthday. A whole 26 years old, eek…but then again Yaaaay! 

A little prayer: a big shout out to God for seeing me through. And another shout out to my ancestors for being and shining on a girl; Serumula, Kgomo! 

Point to note: this post is going to take a whole different turn from the initial draft l had started. Long story short, at this moment as l type this…l don’t have the laptop where my draft was. So now I’m typing from my small phone so excuse the typos. But on the bright side-l am loyal to YOU!! Where else can you get free loyalty like this? 

So, I am 26 today and to be honest I am clear as to where l stand about the way l feel about this. I am excited; l am happy and l look forward to what the 26th year brings. Can’t say l was feeling the same on this day last year. 

In as much as turning 25 sucked; it turned out to be a good year for me and I’m super grateful for it. From a scale of 1-10, l think 25 #twenty_fine was a 9 for me. 

But of course, just like with most things in life, there were a little bit of f’ups along the way and to be honest they weren’t all that bad. 

WHAT SUCKED(S) 

• what tops it off has to be the fact that mom is not around to see me turn 26. But she hasn’t been for the past 4 birthdays and that’s OK. It’s not ok but you get my point…
• I wanted to, still going to, write my second book. But sis never got to do that because l went through a major writer’s block and anxiety…long story which deserves its own post
• Being ghosted by my job (which l liked so very much). I was working at a place, contract based and you know how that goes. But, what sucked is they never or haven’t made it official as to whether contracts will be renewed or not. Remember how I said I’m the queen of being ghosted? Yeah, even jobs ghost me. Which then leads to the last and final point
• Covid-19: refer above. And my heart goes out to everyone who was affected in any way.

WHAT DIDN’T SUCK

• I’m here! I made it to 26! 
• I did a fair share of freelance editing gigs and unbelievably; a little bit of publishing consultancy along the way, imma start charging! My highlight has to be working on #BFFs book, Drafts: 100 letters I will never send
• My family’s health. In my 25th year…God’s been faithful. 
• Friends…the friends l had when l entered into my 25th year are still there today as l turn 26. I love you b*****s! That includes you guy friends, you my b*****s. Shout out to friends l made along the way. 
• I fell in luuuuuuurv and Gaaaad it’s been amazing!! Hey baby 😂
• I gained weight! I really gained; not a few grammes this time but a few kilos. Beginning of lockdown l was a size 28, moved to 30 then 32! And no doubt, end of Jan I’ll be a 34. With that said, l need me money for new clothes 👀
• Remember how l said my job of one year blueticked me? Well, round about that time l got a job offer (see how ancestors lookout for a girl) and sis won’t go hungry!! So the bad which happened wasn’t totally bad. 
• This blog😭 this is one of the many things that excite me about my 25th year. And l have y’all to thank for, thank you🌸 It’s been amazing being back and l can only hope that you and l can take this to higher levels 💯 
• I kind of grew up mentally if that makes and l embarked on a journey to know more about myself which excites me.

Then now l want to tell you of my birthday preps. Which reminds me of Ntombi’s blog post (do read) about her birthday😂. I really should have learnt from her. 

I wanted to dye my hair grey, but 😭 it was an epic fail. Guess what? My barber whom l love very much got me purple hair instead and l ended up going back to blonde which isn’t bad. 

I wanted to do a photoshoot not necessarily for my birthday but a little part of me hoped to have done it by today. That didn’t happen and l don’t know why. Maybe a Zambezi themed shoot 😍 l mean it’s my first love after all. 

I don’t really fuss over my birthdays so l didn’t have much planned for it. 

As for drama drama drama: that’s another post on its own for another day. 

Extra points: 

• I didn’t give much fucks. Bengingawa givi! 
• I gave out more compliments this year, especially to girls. I tried to remember to pray for everyone close to me. 
• I drank more alcohol than years before…with that said, l have a hangover to cure and get back on the horse😂

NB:- SEEING MY BIRTHDAY IS RIGHT AT THE END OF THE YEAR, this posts serves also as a year review or whatever you call it. 2020 wasn’t a bad year for me, so was my 25th. 

I entered 26 in a dramatic and emotional way but I’m excited to be 26 all the same! 

Talk to y’all next year, don’t miss me…I’m joking!!!! MISS ME BECAUSE I WILL MISS YOU💕

Relationship Q and A – continued

Hey, today I am continuing and finishing this blog. Sis has to be grounded and finish which she started. In the first post I did say that I am not a dating disaster but neither am I a guru at it. I still maintain the following disclaimer – LEST YOU DECIDE TO TAKE AWAY SOME ‘WORDS OF WISDOM’ THAT IS TOTALLY AT YOUR OWN FREE WILL AND AT YOUR OWN RISK…DO NOT SAY YOU WERE NEVER WARNED.

 Without wasting time, here we go!

HAVE I EVER BEEN IN A TEXT RELATIONSHIP? (will I consider it?)

Ah! The textlationship. Haven’t we all? If not, well, I have. 95% of my relationships before Uni were all text based. Yip! The whole relationship started and ended on the phone, and it was with boys who were pretty close by and we could have easily met up. I remember I once got in a text relationship with a boy who lived near my hood. Zange! Zange! We only got to meet when we accidently bumped into each other years after the mjolo. Does that count as online dating? Does it? 

I don’t have a lot of reasons as to why I was comfortable dating on texts except: I was legit scared of boys. I honestly thought meeting with boys meant having sex and guess what…I fear(ed) that sh*t. I would make excuses to avoid meeting up and it would only be a matter of time before they gave up then hit the block and delete buttons and on to the next!

And no! I will never be in one again in my life because sis is here for all the physical attention *wink wink* *nudge nudge*

HOW UPSET WILL I BE IF WE BREAK UP?

I honestly don’t know but then again it depends on who initiates the break up and what circumstances led to that. If I do something stupid and he breaks up with me I’d be devastated of course. But sometimes we cannot overestimate the relief that comes with the split up.

WHAT ARE SOME CHARACTER TRAITS THAT I LOOK FOR IN A SIGNIFICANT OTHER?

It has to be:-

• How they treat women in general
• How he talks and treats his or her family
• They are aware that they have a future…you don’t just live phela.
• Has solid friendships
• Is not manipulative etc

THE END…

My short lived and failed online dating experience

Hi,

It only took me one try to know that online dating is not my cuppa tea. And maybe I am at fault for trying something I had no idea about.

A likkle background, I had been in a relationship and it happened that we had a fall out and I was ghosted so that kind of ghosting ended up seeming like a break up. You can ghost for so long until it feels like a breakup. If you read here, you will know I have had my fair share of being ghosted. Call me spoko.

So, during that time (which lasted 4 months by the way) I decided to date someone, I mean its only fair. Let’s call the guy X. I don’t remember how X and l got to talking but it was via Instagram. X is a blogger, a great one at that and at that time I was already a blogger; just not a consistent one.

X and l hit it off and it was awesome. You know that thrill of a new relationship? Texting non-stop, Calling and video calling non-stop, telling each other sweet somethings? Yeah, that was us. At that time I wasn’t even feeling the distance. Mind you, X resides outside Africa and our chances of meeting anytime soon; were non-existent.

Then uGuy plays the future card. He starts talking about the future. Don’t get me wrong, having a guy who includes you in his future plans is cool and all but you can’t be saying that shit within two minutes of mjolo particularly if we are online dating – seemed fake to me but we move.

All we had between us were texts, phone and video calls; that’s it. No meeting up and going on dates and all of that nonsense. It was okay until I felt he was coming on too strong and what ended up annoying me the most were unscheduled video calls. Its only fair that you let me know if you want us to have a session. I mean video call session.

I understand that maybe the constant nagging, because that’s honestly what it felt like, was because of the distance but hebana! let a girl know. Its not that I will be doing anything out of the way, or maybe I will be lol, but seriously, my day does not entail me answering your video calls.

So fast forward, it got to a point where I felt like all I had to do was talk to him every second of the day and that was not going to work. It got tiring and boring. With online dating you have hope that at some point, the connection will lead to an in-person meeting; I wasn’t getting that. So that was enough for me to keep my distance…it wasn’t worth it.

My worst pet peeves that grind relationships

I know this picture does not scream PET PEEVES, but there’s nothing you can do about it 😊

Heya!

Still on the relationship mode, today I want to tell y’all about my pet peeves in romantic relationships.

Granted, it would be absolutely awesome if your significant other just somehow managed to absolutely never annoy you but that’s never the case. Even in the best relationships, it’s inevitable that your partner is going to do one thing or another to get on your nerves sometimes. Having things that your partner does and they annoy you, according to me is totally normal.

You know those first few months of mjolo where he or she is the absolute best?  Then, everything changes. You start to notice things about the other person that aren’t so perfect, some even bug you or drive you crazy. This is a good time to remember that nobody’s perfect, even yourself you have faults…you know what this post is losing its plot. I am not going to give you advice on how to deal with those annoyances or any of that nonsense. Let’s dive right into the things that annoy me the most when it comes to relationships. 

• Not following through on a commitment

Best believe nothing annoys me like not keeping your word. If we agree on a certain thing and you don’t follow through…mark me absent. I might ask or bring it up two or three times; after that I am done. If it’s something that I can do for myself, I will go ahead; if its not…we move. I will not bring it up again. 

• Comparing me or us to other people

Especially your exes. Nywe nywe look at who and who, they don’t do like that. Yhuu bhudi!!! 

• Being too friendly with your exes 

I am not friendly with my exes. If anything; I don’t like talking to them…why should you? Maybe I am being unreasonable but really, what’s there to meet and talk about? I mean you can be on good terms, not bad vibes whatsoever, but to be actually friends? Sesdlala yini… Mistrust and jealousy are real b*****s. 

• Not taking care of yourself

If you are a regular degular here on this blog, then you will know I have tad bit touched on taking care of yourself. You may not be the prettiest but surely you can tlean (clean) up and look presentable…even with that one pair of shoe. Take care of yourself!

• Not cleaning up after snusnu 

Crucify me all you want, but oh boy you must take care of that sheep skin and its wrapper. To let it just lying there seems disrespectful, both to me and yourself. I would go deep but I think you get my point. 

• Over apologizing 

This outright annoys me. I mean if we talk about the problem at hand and we cool about it…why keep apologizing? This takes us back to square one. 

• If I say its cool, then its cool 

Honestly, sibadala. I have no reason to say I am okay or it’s cool when it’s not. 

NB:- Please don’t ask me about last week’s continuation…its COMING!

Relationship Question & Answer

Source: Mayur Gala

Heya!

Lately I have been having the urge to share my dating stories and so I will be going over my dating woes and joys (mostly woes) here and there. I am not really a dating disaster but you cannot seek dating advice from me either.

So, I decided I bring a Relationship Q&A on here. Relax; grab you something (coffee, tea, G&T…whatever helps you relax) and let down some steam as we go down and dirty the mjolo quandaries. 

DISCLAIMER: Lest you decide to take away some ‘words of wisdom’ that is totally at your own free will and at your own risk…do not say you were never warned. 

WHAT ARE THE FIRST THINGS I LOOK AT IN A GUY?

Fingers!!!! I cannot stand dirty fingers. Funny? Sure, but dirty nah. I think fingers are an indicator of hygiene. I don’t mind funny looking fingers (mine aren’t so great anyway) but dirty and long nails on a guy, mark me absent. 

Then there’s other things like teeth. Shorty story…I recently met a guy and No, I did not have intentions of pursuing anything but he approached me and he wasn’t shabby or anything like that. BUT! His teeth, oh my gaaad…the gungey, yellow slime that smiled at me threw me off. Honestly guys, we should take care of ourselves, I can never over emphasize this, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. 

I never expect someone who approaches me or vice-versa lol to be the Miyamiko version (gosh other children!) but you can at least put some effort lawe.

WHAT’S THE WORST DATE I HAVE EVER BEEN TAKEN ON? 

At this my big age, I haven’t been on many dates, thanks to “so uyabuya nini ng’khaya” typa guys. But from the few dates I have been on; they weren’t really bad, lucky me. 

This one time, I went to an ice cream date. It was my first date and I had just finished secondary school. So, guy buys us ice-cream and we walk to the park. I don’t know how we made it there without them melting. Mind you, sis was over the moon and ecstatic about being on a date not with her #BFF this time as it always has been, but with a boy. A living human boy! 

We make it to the park and I cannot even begin to describe how my stomach did little flips of excitement and nervousness every second. Throughout the whole date I kept giving myself a pep talk that I shouldn’t mess this up because this guy needs to go home with a perfect image of me. 

But of course! Because l am me, that didn’t happen. I chocked on. I may have avoided that by being me and eating at normal fast pace but because l had a cute image of myself to give that guy, l ate slower than usual. I coughed like l was about to vomit both my lungs out. It was terrible. But that wasn’t my worst date, maybe the kiss, my first kiss made up for it but of course there was embarrassment. 

IS IT OKAY TO SLEEP WITH A GUY ON THE FIRST DATE? 

If the mood takes it there, why not? What I wouldn’t do is to force myself or be forced into taking the dip. This is only because I want to be in charge of myself, this is the first date after all. 

I’m aware of the shame that comes with doing the deed on the first date but we also get shamed for not having sex or wanting it after a certain period after the first date, or not being interested in it enough.

And then if I happen to do it with a guy on the first date and he ghosts me then it’s my fault because I ‘gave it up’ too soon and no girl does that. We seem to be able to excuse all types of shitty behaviour by men because women, did, didn’t or wouldn’t have sex with them – yes, ghosting is shitty!

So, at the end of the day, It’s decisions! decisions! decisions! despite all the made up ‘dating rules’ some bald chap conceived. 

TO BE CONTINUED…

A teetotaler? Maybe in my next life: Why I choose to take the poison I take

First things first, I would like to say that alcohol is both a tonic and a poison, it just depends on the dose. I am sure we all know the consequences of heavy drinking and this blog is not about that. So, whether or not I am a heavy drinker that is not the purpose of this blog.

Before we dive in,  I think being a ‘drunkard’ is subjective, because to me, I can drink every day of the week and not get drunk-drunk and that doesn’t make me a sdakwa. A sundowner never hurt no barrry. But, to me, when you drink daily and get weekend drunk then you is a drunkard…but that’s just according to me. I don’t know what a drunkard to you is.

Of reasons why I drink alcohol:

It’s nice: that taste of dry red on my tongue is inexplainable – anyway, does it not lower the risk of heart disease? Once upon a time, I was the girl that was never going to touch a beer, but I am that beer girl now. Give me Zambezi anytime of the day. That shit is nice and I think the fact that it’s made in Zimbabwe adds to it. There are a lot, and I MEAN A LOT of things about my beautiful country that break my heart, but Zambezi fills that gap-for that moment. It almost makes up for those things. With that first sip, I am like; “at least there is one good thing from this ************** country! *TAKES A BIG GULP*

I cannot forget to mention how alcohol brings girls together. Half the time, girls are b****** to each other; I don’t know why. The love we give each other in the bathrooms though is beautiful. This past weekend I got to help a girl try and vomit. I remember tying her braids and trying to fix her dangling eyelashes. That is the beauty of alkahol sometimes. She failed to vomit and the lashes were left still dangling but she washed her face and that seemed to help. A few weeks back, in a toilet again, a girl told me I am beautiful and I agree with her…good things happen between intoxicated girls in a toilet.

It’s a hot day: Lately its super-hot and you could do with just one, one cold Zambezi. I swear there are parts of a body that a #ZamBAEzi can get to that a glass of cold water won’t. And likewise, sometimes I can get thirsty for water and not even a cold beer can do justice…nah mean? Don’t ask me about cold winter days, somehow a cold beer still goes down.

#BAE

A good day is also another reason to drink…could be celebrating something; for you or someone close. A bad day can also lead to that…you know that day where it sucked at work or mjolo is doing the most (facing the dating scene sober sounds horrible NGYAZDLALELA), whatever it could be lol. And those “meh” days could use something to spice it up.

Because its Gin with lemonade. Yes, please and thank you…good or bad day; gin is welcome.  

It’s a social lubricant! Show me something else that is?! People drinking alcohol are happy people. That kind of happiness is honestly fulfilling. Everyone in that space is almost feeling the same thing… and that’s happiness. Drinking alkahol makes you friends. So, point to note: sometimes being greeted by almost everyone in a club doesn’t make you a **** y’all just happen to see each other from those spaces almost every time. You know that, “Oh heyyyyyyy!” moment? It’s like you know each other but you really don’t. 

Alcohol cures hangovers, so it’s only right.

Also, blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-alcohol…if you know, you know!!!!!!

Sometimes you just feel like it…no big deal.

NB:- I DON’T NEED TO DRINK ALCOHOL TO HAVE FUN but it gives that thing and just so you know…MODERATION IS KEY (sometimes lol).

Drinking is such a small percentage of life (unless YOU allow it to be otherwise), that teetotaling shouldn’t be the main focus of your life. You’re so much more than sober, so who gives a shit if you’re sober? Who?

Random facts about me

Heya!

If you are a regular degular to this blog then you will know I am about all things Fikile! If you’re new here (WELCOME!!!), then now you know. Today I am revealing my darkest and very not dark secrets about me.

1. My full names are Fikile Nomadlozi Nyathi.
2. I am 172 cm, last I checked.
3. I weigh 57,5 kgs now having moved from a stagnant 55 kgs for yeaaaars. I might have gained a few more grammes.
4. I’m Sotho. Nyathi, Serumula, Kgomo, Mbhikwa, Tari yatogwana; phambili angsakwazi…call me MaMdluli and I will roll my eyes, that’s not me.
5. I’m 24 years old. Sorry, I meant 25 going on 26. A December baby. And honestly, kudos to God and my parents because I feel my birthday is convenient. Mark 23 December in your calendar!
6. I love me some wrist watches. Okay, this is also me dropping birthday present ideas. An Era by Dj Zinhle watch would be ideal.
7. I can’t swim or ride a bike…is it too late to start learning now?
8. If I hadn’t studied Publishing studies, then I don’t know what I would have.
9. I am a published author.
10. I want to be a horse rider and look pretty while at it. Who’s getting me that horse? I will probably name him Mpiyakhe or whatever.
11. My favourite colour is black.
12. I get angry over what seem to be small things and quite the opposite for ‘angering’ things.  Those ‘small’ things get my voice shaking and my eyes tearing up…DRAMA! DRAMA! DRAMA!
13. I can connect with people who have similar interests as me at the click of a button.
14. I love tomato sauce, but I hate tomatoes. Trust me to pick out tomatoes on a date…I would rather die than eat a tomato. I also haaaaate onions.
15. I love food. Who doesn’t? I just prefer my food without onions and tomatoes.
16. I could go as far as to say that I was a tomboy when growing up and I have my brother to blame for it (I will never forget how I used to cry to get a hair cut like his…with a mqhekezo) I had no interest in beauty and fashion and that still hasn’t changed. Give me jeans and an unfashionable hoodie and I’m good to go. Sometimes I don’t comb my hair… that’s how bad it is.
17. I love sneakers. Sneakers first; heels never lol. I do wear heels on special occasions but I live for sneakers.
18. Writing is one of my favourite things to do.
19. I love Taylor Swift, she and l are sisters in the next life.
20. I hate winter.
21. I am probably one of the most indecisive people you will ever meet.
22. Tears are my form of communication. I am such a crier. Happy, sad, angry…I cry.
23. My favourite movie of all time is *drumrooooll* The fault in our stars…I am yet to watch it two times before the year ends.
24. I can’t sleep on my stomach. I can do it for 5 minutes max and it gets uncomfortable.
25. I talk too much. If you’re welcoming…I will say even the most inappropriate things. My mouth knows no boundaries.
26. I am not a morning person. For me to wake up early, I really need an exciting reason like going on vacation, not even waking up for snusnu does the trick. Half the time I am grumpy in the mornings.
27. I like money…no kidding.
28. Traveling is my calling…sis just needs money or a blesser and we both know which is faster and easier to get.
29. I love attention. I DO.
30. Red wine, Gin and Lemonade and Zambezi anytime of the day.
31. I wouldn’t think twice about becoming a house wife, baby girl gots to marry right LOL.
32. I do pray, a lot…doesn’t matter if I doze off during prayer hanti?
33. I can listen to almost any song as long as the beat is great. I listen to the beat more than the lyrics…I can listen to a song for years and still not know its lyrics.
34. I am a nice person; this is one thing you can’t take away from me. I always give way too many chances to un-derserving situations and people.
35. I love everything about Ndebele culture (though I am not candid about it): the food, the history, the etiquette, the landscape, the architecture — all of it. I know where or rather, who it comes from.
36. Traditional over white wedding… I look forward to drinking s’godokhaya on the day.
37. I do eat sweet things but I don’t fuss over them. I can finish a chocolate over days…ANGIGOGOSI guys
38. I suck at giving advice. I’ll just be there going “Ah, uhm” “Fuckit, sorry babes” “ungezwa wena babes.”
39. Sis loves having fun, ubunandi bumnandi guys!
40. Nature is my therapy; along with new manicure and going commando.

Throwback…

So, that’s Fikile in a nutshell. Some parts of me summarized in short sentences. No doubt when l come back to this post few years from now; a lot would have changed.

To the man I zoned…

Dear John,

Well well, here we are…to the third letter. Just so you know; I have written 2 before this one. One to my crush and one to the man who never called. This is what I have to say to you…of all the many things I regret, and I mean many, one of them was making you feel like you’re nothing.

Of all the letters I have written before, well, at least publicly, this is the most hard. It was easy writing to my father or to my crush because I knew how I felt but with this one I have to again deal with guilt and maybe even regret.

But you see, you never had good timing. You and I could have had something but I was already in a something with someone. I could have stringed you along if I wanted to but I couldn’t (ngangidlisiwe). But I was also to blame because I wasn’t transparent. I could have from the outset told you that I am in a thing but I didn’t.

In all honesty, I started avoiding you and you got the message and you acted accordingly. Just so you know, it hurt that you got the message…I am not sorry, us girls are confused creatures like that or maybe its just me.

See, in as much as I had that little confusion going on; at the back of my mind I knew I didn’t like you…not in that way. I liked you as a person but it was never more than that. Now you may ask why and I ask you to accept this reason, it was just that…I didn’t like you in a way enough for us to make it a thing.

And this is where the guilt comes in, I feel like I should have had good reasons as to why I zoned you, but that is just it. And that’s just how it is; in whatever I do chances are high that someone will get hurt or not be happy about it.

I had to keep myself away from you because it would have led to unnecessary confusion for me and hurt for you. That’s the best I could do and there’s nothing more to say…

Guilty as charged,

The girl who zoned you.